MEN|TAL MEN|TALITY with Branden and Patrick
Podcast focusing on men's mental health, entpreneurism and Dad life
MEN|TAL MEN|TALITY with Branden and Patrick
Episode 4
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
What up man? What up, dude? We're episode four.
SPEAKER_00Episode four. Which I thought we were a lot more than that, but it is four.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Well, welcome guys to the Mental Mentality Podcast. And um my name is Patrick Muracami.
SPEAKER_00Brandon Hickman, we have a thing, don't we? Somewhere.
SPEAKER_03Hopefully it played. But you know, in case you missed it, if you weren't paying attention, now you know.
SPEAKER_00Heck yeah, dude. Sorry it's been a couple weeks. Well, I guess they don't know that, but they don't know. You don't know. It's been a long ride, dude. You ever just think about like you ever just think about all the shit you have to do all the time?
SPEAKER_03Unfortunately, everything.
SPEAKER_00It's like everything, bro. Like it's just a lot. Like, I just didn't think of uh like I feel like I handle it really well. Um I you do too, but I just feel like there's a lot of shit to do like all the time between like the kids and the spouse and running a business and having another job, and like I mean, you know how it is, dude. You go to bed at four o'clock in the morning.
SPEAKER_03So not always okay. So have you seen that meme where it says, I bet he's thinking about other girls. Totally, yeah. Right?
SPEAKER_00And then well, he's on the phone and she's like tucked trying to go to sleep.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and he was like, hmm, does Transformers count as life insurance or auto insurance? Yeah, dude. It uh did the cowboys really trade Micah Parsons, like you know, it's it's crazy. So we could have the longest day. Don't matter how tired you are, it don't matter, right? Because your wife will be like, hey, you need to be a good dad, you need to spend time with your kids. Oh, I'm feeling kind of needy. Like, just talk to me. I just want some of your time. And then like you sit there, and she has nothing to say to you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Or yes. And she goes, Talk to me. About what? Yeah, she hate my wife hates that question. Don't ask me what you want to talk about. Like, well, what do you want to talk about? Like, I'm what do you want? What do you mean? Like, I've had a long ass day, you've had a long ass day. Can we just hang out and not have to speak? I'm like, I'm just decompressing.
SPEAKER_03I'm thinking about like all the shit that I had to go through, all the stuff that I gotta go through again tomorrow, all the stuff that like I know that I'm probably not executing, and now you want me to talk to you. But now I gotta find a topic to talk to you about to make you feel better. Like, but this is okay, so in in all honesty though, like, if my wife works really hard, and again, she she works her her butt off, and and I'm I'm thankful for that, right? There's a lot of times before I launched my business and stuff that she carried us through. But physical labor, right? And so she'll be like, Oh, my shoulder hurts, my back hurts, like you don't care, right? And just you know, being needy. But I last night uh am working at like midnight on the computer, my shoulder's killing me, it's been killing me for days, and so I threw it back at her and I was like, Oh, baby, you don't even care. It's midnight, I'm still working. She's like, I do care, and I'm like, uh uh, you know, offer to rub my back, my shoulders, you don't just want to be on your phone, you don't want to talk to me. So I'm I'm basically throwing it back at her, and it's not funny when you do it, it's not cute when we do it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's not for sure. Or my my wife's drama is like, and it's not her drama directly, it's usually like like all my all my wife's friends look at her as like the mom of the group, right? So they go to her, and I could see Sharon being like the mom of the group, too, you know. But it's like these long drug out like drama stories that I'm like I really just don't want my brain to work anymore, and I'm listening to this long, drawn-out, dramatic reality TV series that's going on in your life that I love you enough to listen, but like deep down, I'm like, I just I don't really I don't care, right? You know, but yeah, dude, but as far as like just like all the chaos that I mean in all of our lives, we're just there's just always so much shit, and I don't know if it's the same for you, but like I get really like if I start to fall behind on like sales or like sometimes in the shop, I'll have to go in the back and detail cars or polish cars or do ceramic coating or whatever, which I don't mind doing, but that is not where my time is best served. Right. It's honestly like in front of other people, going to network meetings, trying to do sales or whatever the case is.
SPEAKER_03Being the face of the business.
SPEAKER_00Well, yeah, but then I fall behind on being the face of the business, and that gives me more anxiety than like if we're busy and we're making money, but like I still have to run a business and I still have to bring in an influx of people through the door, right? And it feels like all that stops when I start falling behind, and then it makes me feel like I'm falling behind at home because I can't go home and work because I mean I could, but I don't want to be up till three or four o'clock in the morning.
SPEAKER_03Right. You know what's the worst though? Having employees is like having children.
SPEAKER_00Totally.
SPEAKER_03And you know most of them it's not that they don't care, but they're never gonna see it from your perspective. And so yes, they're worried about like, you know, the stuff that they do, but they don't see all the hats that you wear. They don't see, you know, that you know, everything that you do, you're like, I'm literally doing this for you guys. I'm literally doing this for my family and and my children at home.
SPEAKER_00And it's a lot because all they have to do is show up from nine to five and then they get to go home. Yes, that doesn't happen.
SPEAKER_03They leave work at work, yeah, for sure. Right. Um, the responsibility doesn't fall on them. Oh, I'm sick, I'm not coming in. Oh, I'm going on vacation. Dude, I just assigned you seven different things that you took. I asked who was available, you took them. Yeah. Tell me so I can get those knocked out. Yeah, for sure. It's crazy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I definitely I I like hired all my homies, right? So, like my brother-in-law is my main dude, and then Tim is my tenter, and he's one of my best friends, and then you know, everybody else became friends in the shop, but um, I've we knew them before, or you know, they were friends of a friend or whatever. So it's I definitely see a side where they take advantage that way, but then also like with the whole hat wearing thing, like I felt guilty that I had to go have a conversation with Dylan today because I was like, hey man, like I'm sorry I haven't been here, but like this is the stuff I've been doing. But in reality, like I like he I probably didn't need to tell him that, but it was my own like insecurity part of things that I was like, oh, he really hates that I'm not here, even though he I don't think he gives a shit. But like as a business owner, you want to be at the face of your business and you want to be running your company and running your employees and stuff, and then something that I've noticed when I'm not at my shop consistently, I can feel the respect level kind of tearing down, right? For whatever reason that is, it's like I don't know. Is it like you see you're with mom more often, so you respect dad more or whatever, you know what I mean? Like what is that? I don't know.
SPEAKER_03But well, it's interesting, right? Because they also don't want somebody hovering over their shoulder either.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure. And I try not to be like a super micromanager and I'm not, I'm not, unless I have to be, right? But then when I am, they get offended because I'm like, dude, you're not fucking doing what I asked you to do, or you're doing the complete opposite of what I told you to do, or you're not on time with it, you know, or deadlines aren't being met. So we're having to talk with that's another part that they don't see is the customer part of things. Right, right. Is that I'm the one that's having to deal with the customer and reach out to the customer and explain to them why their vehicle's not done, or why we have to push it back another day, or whatever. All you guys see is the work in front of you, but then some of my guys are 1099s, so they'll come and do a little bit of work and then leave for the rest of the day. And I'm like, yo, what the fuck just happened? What are we doing? Right. So, yeah, dude, it's stressful, man. Life is uh life's a lot sometimes, but yeah.
SPEAKER_03I'm sure somebody listened to this is like has some solutions, like, oh, you need a VA, you need an office manager, you need SOP. Trust me, as business owners who've gone through this, we know, but there's just the time to do it, right? And so it's it's hard. Um, there's a lot of people from the outsider perspective where you know it's it's easier to say here's all the things you need to do. It's harder to execute, especially, you know, I think I told you our peak season most people go from you know spring, end of summer. But for whatever reason, my team goes from February to literally the week before Thanksgiving. And then after Black Friday, we pick up up until basically the week of Christmas, and then we're slow as hell, you know, up through you know, New Year's or the week after New Year's. But you know, I told my team, I was like, with everything that's happening with the market in the housing market, it's crazy. And but we've already been super busy. I know that they're getting burnt out, I feel it. But at the same time, you know, then we we we we asked for this, we prayed for it. And so if we're not getting those results, and and but more importantly, if we're not delivering on the things that we asked for, what was the point?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure. I get that too. I think that kind of lies the difference between how the mentality that you and I have when running our business, we have a uh I don't feel like we run our business out of a mindset of lack, right? Like I I like to think that I run my business out of a mindset of abundance, that it's just gonna come when it comes and I know it's gonna come at the perfect time. But then, you know, praying and meditation, and to me, that to me that's all the same. And it's you know, I don't know how it is that you pray, but once I started praying differently is when things changed, right? So when I started praying, or when before I prayed, I would always plead with God or beg God to fix this or beg God to do this, or you know, it's like I'm almost making a deal with God, and I don't think that's how things intended to be. I know even scripture, and excuse my if I if I get this wrong, but it you know, you you ask and you shall receive, or give me my give me your yoke, or whatever. Like, I feel like when I started praying out of a mindset of abundance rather than lack and really understanding that what my words are putting into the world are literally feeding into my reality and creating my reality. So I started praying, and then like people I feel like people have this like stigma on praying, right? Where it's like, oh well, I'm not religious. Well, meditation's the same thing in in a sense, right? But um when I started thinking and praying differently, as far as like thanking, thanking you for it as if it's already happened, right? So instead of like, for example, like God, please fix five please fix my finances so I can get ahead of my bills. Instead, God, thank you for giving me the opportunity and the wisdom and the wisdom, opportunities and the wisdom, wisdom to take in the opportunities and use those opportunities to either make more money or fix how I look at finances or money or whatever, and thanking him for it as if I've already received it, and then you feel the emotion, and then you create reality, right? Instead of just constantly that's why you know you said most companies are like busy for like six months. Well, you're busy for eight or nine. And I feel like that's the same with with with Lux too, is that you know, a lot of my detailers have been like, hey man, like what's going on? Are you guys busy? And even if they're even if we're not as busy as I would like to be, my response is and I try I like try to be humble about it too, because I know why they're asking me because their shop is down right now and they want to know if it's the same.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_00And I'm not saying it's not it's not like always, but sometimes, sometimes it is where we're I'm like, oh yeah, we're slow, man. But usually like if we're busy and I want to be busier, I will I'll preach that into existence, right? Yeah, like oh yeah, man, we're slammed, like we're like we're doing good, but like also I'll try to be humble about it because I don't want to be of course you know what I mean, but of course, and well, and you're not trying to make your other guys feel bad, especially if they're already down, right?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so you know, the verse that says, Don't worry about anything, pray for everything, right? And same thing, like every night as a family, we pray, you know, and usually my son prays first, my wife goes second, usually I kind of close us. But you know, for the longest time, like you said, it was kind of like a playing, begging, you know, like you know, show me if if if this is what it's supposed to be. You know, it's like all those things that you kind of go through, and then as you start to grow, uh you know, then you have to figure out it it's almost like you can't pray for the same things that you once were praying for, right? Because you've grown and you and you're going to that next level, but a lot of times you don't know what that looks like. Sure. And so a lot of times it's like, you know, hey, you already know my pain points, you already know where my struggles are. And so oftentimes you're praying for the wisdom, you're praying for the right connection, you're praying for the breakthrough, you're praying, you know, to that, hey, can I go on an easy streak for a little bit? You know, let me get comfortable for just a short while, right? To get caught up, to to have a little break physically, mentally, spiritually, whatever. But something that I heard the other day, and then I kind of converted my own version of this, but it basically said that you know, people pray and they wonder why they don't get answers. And so if you went to a coffee shop and as soon as you ordered your coffee, and before that person could go and put the order in, you slam your hand on the door or on the counter and you're like, Hey, I want my coffee.
SPEAKER_00I just heard this. I think you've I think you've liked I think you liked my post.
SPEAKER_03Okay, it was you that posted it. Okay, okay. And then the person comes back and they give you just coffee, beans, and hot water, right? And you would turn around and you drink, and it would taste like crap, and maybe make you sick if the beans were raw or not cooked well or whatever, crushed up. And it basically wasn't ready. And so a lot of times we pray and we want instant results, but maybe the what we actually need is not ready. Right? But if you wait for that person to froth the coffee, to heat it up, to have the drip, right? All those things, have the right cup of coffee poured in there. Now all of a sudden it's ready. Now it tastes good, now it smells good, right? Now it's exactly what you wanted, exactly what you needed. Maybe both. And a lot of times we're so impatient when we pray that we actually don't get the chance, and we're basically that person slamming our hand, but demanding the thing that's not ready for us yet.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, sure. Well, I think that's a that's a big problem, is that we go into prayer with an expectation that oh well, if I pray for this now, this is when I'll receive it. But a lot of times, man, there's a lot of things that have happened in my life that if I would have got them when I prayed for it, I would have already lost it. You kind of have to grow into whatever you're trying to become, right? I mean, is that does that make sense? Yeah. Um, and I guess the wisdom and the clarity and the consistency that that takes to get there takes a lot of spiritual maturity to understand, like, I know that I'm praying for this, and I know I may not be ready, but I will be when it does come, you know, and just have no expectation with it. Um and use it, your prayer or your meditation, not to necessarily get everything that you want, but to make you transform into the person that's gonna get all those things. Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, well, and I think the whole meditation thing, right, in prayer, is you're kind of centering yourself to basically be still, to be quiet, to be receptive. And a lot of times, especially wearing all the different hats, right, it's hard to find quiet time. We just talked about the whole decompressing thing, right? Like, man, my wife wants me to talk to her about something, you know, and I'm like, I have a million things going through my head right now, and I want to be a good father, I want to be a good husband, I want to, I want to be a good boss, I want to be, you know, all these things. But sometimes I feel like I'm I can't do any of those, right? And especially, and so if you feel that way, you're decompressing, you know, and you know, you have certain days you're just like, oh my god, I can't do anything right. I'm biting everybody's head off. I don't mean to, but this is just how what it feels like. But whenever we have those days, right, if so if your wife had like the toughest day, she'd break down in tears, you'd show up in a heartbeat, right? But but the f as as it's kind of funny because as instinctual and as caring as women are, we are never thought of in that manner. Like we have all these things going on and the decompression piece doesn't make sense to them. Right? In that moment it feels like we're being selfish. And unless I shed a tear, unless I'm really upset, you know, I still get to blame, right? Like, oh, you were being mean to me. You ever think that maybe I'm being mean because I'm lashing out because I don't have a way to express my feelings. I don't have a way to give yeah, you know, I didn't mean to lash out to you, but there's literally nothing else that I have.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's crazy. Is that but that's that's the thing that why we had this podcast, right? Yeah. Because we literally, you know, guys, we are the punching bag all day long for everybody. But unless we like do something drastic, nobody notices when we're going through that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure. We also don't take the time. I mean, I do now, but we're just always on the move. We're always going from the moment our foot hits the floor, dude, we're just fucking just grinding all day long, all night long, and then what? You know what I mean? There's no time taken by ourselves, but I don't feel like I should have to hide, and I don't feel like I I don't feel like my wife would be pissed off if she knew I got like a massage twice a month, or went and got, you know, like if I'll go get a haircut and do like a pedicure for a day or whatever, and just and that's just like infrequently stuff that I do, but every night my wife knows that I'm on the floor doing my stretches and and and and I'm meditating, and that even gets hard to a sense because my kids want to do shit, you know, or she wants to know, like my kid wants to come in and be like, hey, what is oh sorry, um, what is uh I was tapping um what she wants me to play a game with her on her iPad or whatever, but until I started consciously taking time for myself to do things consistently to make my mental health be okay, I was always a mess. You know, I was going a million miles an hour. I mean, like in that in this seven-year time frame from when I had this like mental breakdown. I think in my 20s I was just a free bird and just doing whatever I wanted to do, right? But as I grew older and understanded that I needed to start kind of transforming into a different human, that included me taking time for self-growth and taking time to silence my mind and meditate and pray and do the things that I need to do to make sure when I wake up in the morning I have a good mindset on my head.
SPEAKER_03You know, so feeding that subconscious, yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00You have to.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Well, and everybody uses that terminology like it's the most it's the worst thing you could be selfish in, right? And I'm not saying you have to be a selfish person all the time, but like you said, you have to find that space for you. You have to find the ability to have that stillness or that quietness, right? Because that's when change starts to materialize. That's when you that belief, right, comes into play when you know, hey, by spending even this few moments of clearing my mind, these few moments of basically clear clearing my heart, I now am making room to basically reload my plate again for tomorrow. Right?
SPEAKER_00For sure. Yeah, absolutely. Before it overflows. Yes. Um yeah, because I mean that's what a lot of us do, right? Like something that really bothers me is seeing the guys with the nobody cares work harder shirts on. And I'm just like, dude, what? Like, I want to know what your life looks like. I want to know what your life looks like outside of the gym or outside of the picture that you just took. And I'm not criticizing you, I'm just I want to know what your life really looks like when you wear that shirt of nobody cares work harder. Like, do you really believe that? Or is that just something you're putting on for social media? Because that's also a stigma in men's mental health, is like nobody cares. Fucking work harder, or pull your, you know, we said this before, but pull your boots or pull yourself up by the bootstraps, whatever. But how much of that is just putting on a show and really telling guys subconsciously that you don't have time to take time, you don't have the time to take time for yourself that you have to keep pushing. This one guy, I think I shared that video with you guys. He was talking about nobody cares basically, and you can tell me whatever, but that guy looked hella burnt out. Like he looked sick, yes, right?
SPEAKER_03So well, and he'd inspire anybody, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's like I I just want to know like where where their mind is when they let their when they lay their head down at night.
SPEAKER_03So from my perspective, right, and the things I've gone through, I feel like that a lot of times we just want a sense of belonging, right? And it's easy, maybe not I'm I'm I'm gonna take a step back. Women make it look easy, right? Because they can relate on simplest things. Oh, that purse is so cute, oh those shoes are so cute. Where'd you get that? Right? Your hair looks good, oh your ass looks good, like they can compliment each other. Have you ever heard a dude come to another dude and said, Man, those jeans make your balls look amazing? Right? Dude, I could see your junk. Let's go.
SPEAKER_00For sure. Not once. No, dude, but I do think it's important to feed into those compliments for another male, but like how like not those compliments, but compliments of like, hey man, I'm proud of you. Hey, dude, I saw what you did, that was awesome. Like, that doesn't get that was one thing that that my dad was really good about doing was saying, Hey, I'm I'm really proud of you. Yeah. Um you know, and it just that but that doesn't happen often.
SPEAKER_03No, and and when it does, it's not well received because we don't get it often. Right. Right? You're like, oh, thanks, bro. Like, I appreciate it, and then it's cool, move on to the next thing, right? Same thing with like, hey, you good? I I'm kind of struggling, I'm going through some shit. Hey, I'm sorry to hear that, man. I'm here for you if you need it. Appreciate it. Move on, you know. So there's I mean, we're suppressed, we're suppressing it, right? No one gives a shit. Move on, work harder, right? Like so people want a sense of belonging. And so if the mantra says, you know what, other people don't care, then I can jump on board with that because I know other people are struggling, and so that's my way of trying to find and and connect with somebody else that understands me. You know, so they're basically kind of you know building all this stuff together. But that's just you know, like the incel community, the whole thing, right? With Andrew Tate and all these guys, you know, they truly believe that you're either attractive or you're not, and if you're not, then what's the point? And like to me, that's crazy. Yeah, you know. I I don't know. Maybe maybe I'm attractive. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I just weird. It is weird, and it's you know, one thing that I I don't struggle with in my business is like I have a lot of friends that do own businesses and they have trouble keeping their guys, they have trouble with their guys showing up for work, or just and I don't get me wrong, we have our own issues at the shop, but as far as them being clear on the appreciation that I have for them, will never go like they'll never question that. Right, right, because I'm constantly like feeding life into them, right? And that's not what happens a lot within businesses, it just doesn't. Right. You dare to do your job, and that's what you do, and that's it. And if you don't do your job, then you're a piece of shit, basically, is what you know happens. Like I opened up my business, obviously, to make money and support my family and stuff like that, but I also wanted to support and help a special group of men grow into something better for themselves and for their family. And it starts with making sure that your employees know that you're appreciated. And I don't mean like, hey, great year, let's have a pizza party like they did back when we were in school, right? Like great, thanks, or whatever, you know. It's the one-on-ones with them and making sure that you know you as a team are all on the same page, and I only work with men, so I don't really have to I don't have to deal, don't take this the wrong way, but the emotions of a woman inside of a shop, right? So but just because I don't have to deal with the emotions doesn't mean that the men aren't having them, they're just less likely to show it, right? So I really try and just constantly feed life into my guys, and then I'm not per fucking perfect. I blow up sometimes when sh stupid mistakes are made that I'm like, dude, this could have been avoided if you just would have did what I asked you to do or did it a million different times, or you did this last time and you did it again, and then it caused the same so it caused the same problem, right? But even when I'm frustrated, I think it's really important, especially to a group of men that are suppressing their emotions because that's what they've been told to do their whole life, is like, hey man, like it's okay, but like how do we not fucking do this again, right? Like, how do I support you better to to to help you understand that what just happened wasn't okay, you know, or and maybe not in those same exact words, but it's not the end of the world, yeah, for sure, right? Yeah, and I think a lot of times, and we I live in a very uh I work in a very expensive environment, so one fuck up is cost me hundreds of dollars or thousands of dollars. Right.
SPEAKER_03And it falls on your shoulders, and it falls on my shoulders. That's the hard part that uh the employees don't understand, yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00And but they also get to go home at five o'clock and not have to worry about it until tomorrow. Right, you know, not saying that I'm sure my guys do, but I'm the one that has to figure out like we worked on this BMW one time and he spilt like soda, and that's why he was getting his car detailed. And we steamed, we steamed it. Well, the next day his car wouldn't start, his whole center console just malfunctioned. Oh no. $2,500. Really no fault to my guys because they were just doing what they were supposed to be doing. Maybe too much water got in there and the mix between the soda that the customer spilt or whatever. But basically, this customer brought his car in to get what he spilt on there fixed, and we broke it. And we got it replaced, and the guy that did it felt really bad. But like, to me, I know how much you get paid. Like, like, I'm not trying to down you, but I know how much you get paid. There's no way that you're gonna be able to make this $2,500 payment. So, who does it fall back on? A business owner, right? But even when things are upset, dude, like it's like well, like we're gonna recover from this. I feel like a lot of people get upset with their employees and they're yelling in their face and they're cussing and doing whatever they're doing. And I what is that? That's not doing anything but fucking you more, right? You know, so I think that's important.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, 100%. Yeah, well, and I think there's I think also the aspect that people have to remember too is guys, us guys, we get really comfortable doing the same thing. We get comfortable, we want the same people over and over, even if we if we complain, we do want kind of that consistency. So we don't want to have to go hire. We don't want to have to go and and fire somebody to to look for the next person. Like it's for the most part, yeah. It's especially if if like you said, you know, you've you've hired all your friends or people that you know, right? It's so you don't want that, you know. So but we are creatures of comfort, you know. So the last thing that I want to do is go and find somebody else to hire and add, you know, and teach them and train them, you know. Um because I know that if I spend that time, I'm less productive. Now, sometimes it's necessary, right, to be able to expand and grow and all those things, but man, it's a whole different stress when you're managing people.
SPEAKER_00It is, bro, and not even like you mentioned all the stuff about hiring and and trying to teach them, but like my biggest fear of hiring somebody new is do they jive with my team? And if they don't, like you g you gotta go. Yes. You know what I mean? Like we have this team, and then you come in and you don't drive, not saying that you're not a good person, but like if you don't drive with the with the with the shop talk and stuff offends you and like whatever, like we work at a shop, dude. Like it is what it is. And I haven't necessarily ran into this, but kinda. But it's like, dude, I'm like sorry, man. Like it just it's it's not working out. And I never told them this, but and they're gonna know now, but you just didn't jive with the team. Sure. And that's okay, but that's my biggest thing.
SPEAKER_03Have you ever done on-the-job interviews?
SPEAKER_00I've done like working interviews. Yes.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. Yep. So I um will have people come and spend two to three hours just to get an understanding of what the real day-to-day looks like. Because when I tell them, look, you're gonna have to work hard. And then they see the phones constantly ringing, they see the exchanges, the messages going back and forth, then they see me take a meeting, then they see, you know, the hundreds of emails that I got send, and then I turn around and say, Okay, so this was just all servicing, this is all just answering questions. Now I have to go try to find opportunities. And they're like, What? Yeah, this is where your job comes in. This is this is the easy part. Here's the hard part. And then we take them out to lunch and we say, So what were your thoughts? Do you think that this is something? And really it's my team getting a chance to get to know them to say, Yeah, I I think I could see that person working with us. Or I don't know, uh it this is sales, I don't know if that that person can handle it. They don't seem like a killer. Not that it can't be taught, but it's a lot longer, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I think sales is uh could definitely be taught, but I think it's something that people are born into being able to understand it more naturally for some people, but anyway, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03So, you know, but those types of things are the things that we have to come up with. We have to become innovative, right? Because a Zoom meeting it isn't gonna cut it. I've had people where my team goes and does the full interview, I don't even show up. And they're like, What is this? And uh and I tell them five minutes, hey, my team is gonna do the interview, so you can ask all the questions that you the real and get the real answers.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's weird. I feel like I would feel weird if I was in that, but that's a great way to like know if somebody can adapt to their environment, right?
SPEAKER_03But it gives my team also the opportunity to know that I care enough about who's bringing who I'm bringing on that they're gonna drive with them as well.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you have to, man, because you can't kill the vibe that's already there. Right. You know, just because I'm not gonna make my guys unlearn everything that they've learned up until now just to be more sensitive towards somebody else. Right. You know, I don't think that's necessarily fair. Although I do think that there are some people that come in that help motivate the shop, but then the guys don't necessarily take to it because like who the fuck is this guy? Like coming in here, new guy, yeah. Yeah, coming in here dick swinging and wanting to teach me how to live my life, and it's really like, dude, he's just trying to motivate you. Right. You know, it's not like to knock you or say you're doing a bad job, but like there's always room to grow, and for those, like there I'm not gonna say what I just said because I'm gonna hurt someone's feelings, but there's timing to receive it too. Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. And then, but also like don't pe most men from my from what I feel like take constructive criticism as a fucking punch to the face.
SPEAKER_03100%.
SPEAKER_00And I'm like, dude, like you gotta just kind of learn how to just be coachable and understand that there is somebody out there that's better than you and knows more than you. They might be a little bit more cockier than you and come off like an asshole, but don't take what the person lives like, take his words and be like, oh yeah, that makes sense why he said that.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_00You know, don't take constructive criticism as like a total like punch to the gut that you're a shitty person and doing a shitty job. That's not it at all.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So yesterday I had a fire a client, but he showed up in person, and he basically said, I once this is done, he's like, I will never use you again. And I said, Good. I said, because I don't want to be associated with you. Okay. So backstory when I first connected with him, him and his wife were great, got along really well, spent some time outside of work, right, outside of business. Well, come to find out over the last three years he's basically been cheating on his wife. Um took out all the money that they had in the savings, left her completely with nothing, but feels like he's a good guy because he's gonna pay for the insurance for the rest of the year. Oh right. But hasn't seen his kid, you know, but believes he's a good guy, believes he's following his heart, doing the right thing, and has the audacity to come at me and basically say, you know, this is twice I've had to go through this with you. And I said, You put yourself in this position. It's one thing for you know, mistakes to happen, right? But for you to literally blame me for all the stuff that you're going through, right, that in the turmoil that you caused and are still causing and think that you're going to hurt me by saying, I hope I never use you again. And I said, Good, because I will never accept you again.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Right? Because I don't want to be associated with somebody who's put other people like that. Because if you do that to your spouse, what are you gonna do to me as a business owner?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_03Like, get out, yeah, goodbye. See you later, you know. But getting to that point, I in my early days, there's no way I would have been able to do something like that. There's no way I would have been able to be like, oh, okay, you know, I would be like, oh, I'm sorry, let me make it right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01For sure.
SPEAKER_03But you know, I think that there's a lot of growth that comes with, you know, the business side that you know, when you experience growth, when you go through that, but you also realize like I'm not adding more bullshit to my already full plate.
SPEAKER_00You know, yeah, yeah, dude. 100% because it's usually not the first fucking time that you've had issues, right? It's usually like multiple times, and you've tried to make it right, you've tried to do be the good guy and do the right thing multiple times, and it just keeps shutting down. But like, and I'm sure you were kind of saying, dude, I grew up such a big people pleaser my whole life. Yeah, like that's I wanted to please everybody, I wanted to say yes to everybody, I wanted to make sure everybody was happy with me. Right. And as I grew as a person and as a business owner, it's just fucking impossible. Like, you're not gonna please everybody, not everybody's gonna like you. Some people I haven't even met talk shit about me. And I'm like, never had never sat down, had a cup of coffee with me, don't know my kids' names, don't know my business name, they just know that I'm me and I don't fucking like that guy. Right. Yeah, whatever. And I just want all the people pleasers out there to understand that usually the people that are talking shit about you or treating you like shit completely hate themselves, and they don't have anything as better to do than run their mouth and run your name through the mud to make you look bad, to let themselves feel better about themselves for just a little bit. It's like a drug to them almost, you know, and it's something I had to learn just as a human being, that like famous words of Tupac. Like, I still want you to eat, but just not at my table. And I firmly I firmly believe that because I don't want to I don't want hate in my heart towards anybody, right? But there are some people in this world that I just do not need to associate with, right? So I still want you to feel I mean, I guess this can go kind of either way. I still want you to feel the love from me, but like I also don't want to talk to you. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Or associate myself with you in any manner.
SPEAKER_03So I want to piggyback on this a little bit and I want to share the story. I was the biggest Tom Brady hater. I hated Kobe Bryant. Oh, I hated Bill Belichick, right?
SPEAKER_06Still do.
SPEAKER_03And a lot of it was because I got tired of seeing them win. Yeah. Right. But I got tired of seeing them win because I believed I had an underdog story.
SPEAKER_01Sure.
SPEAKER_03Right? And so I always rooted for the underdog, right? You can't tell me that you weren't rooting for the Patriots to beat the Rams the first time that ever happened. Everybody was, because everyone was tired of seeing the Rams. And so I used to talk shit, deflat, right, everything. I look back, man, the times that I was struggling the most was when I was hating the most. But when you think right now about what it takes to bring your business to a success level, right, or what you had to do to achieve the milestones that you've done, but to sustain that over and over and over again and keep the reputation, I look back and I'm like, damn, that guy went to the Super Bowl how many times?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he killed it every single time.
SPEAKER_03And then when he went to a whole nother team and went and did it again, and I'm like, dang, right? But as I started to find success, I started turning this leaf of like, wow, I'm actually a huge Brady fan. I talk so much trash about him. And it was easy to talk about that because I didn't understand it. Sure. Right. But now, I mean, every single day I have affirmations. Uh I think in the last three weeks, because I have these uh AI automatically create these for me. Um I think six of them have had uh inspiration from Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, right? And so a lot of these things uh that I've created, I'm putting in the books, I'm putting in the people that I find inspirational, the stories that I like, right? And it creates all these affirmations. But you can go to my office right now, I've got uh Mamba mentality, yeah, right? Kobe Bryant that talks about haters are necessary. Yeah, you know, the most dangerous part is when they're not talking about you, right? And for somebody who talks so much trash about Kobe Brown while he was a person, um selfish ball player, God, anybody can score 60 points with they take 80 shots, right? Like sure, yeah. But how many people have the confidence to put up 80 shots? Yeah, how many people know that they can turn around and that if if he wanted every night that he could have a triple double? Right? I could tell you Kobe stories because I've listened to them all, right? Players, coaches. Um but you know what the thing that I respect the most about Kobe is that he has the greatest poem ever that cat encapsulates being in real time, and it's a poem that's that he wrote called Deer Basketball. All the things he did on the court, all the things he did off the court, I hated him on it. But one thing, and just reading this poem, and it's he's basically it's in the year of his retirement, and he's basically just talking about from the time that he was a kid, and how he was rolling up his socks like his dad used to and shooting hoops to basically saying that this was his exit, that this was his year, and he said, you know, I've loved you basically more than I've loved anything in my entire life, but we only have so much more time left, so let's make it together, right? But capturing that moment gave me a better appreciation for anything that he ever did because to be able to understand somebody's mentality, to be able to understand what somebody was going through, even with all that, and to cut out the noise every single night, to be able to say, I put in the work, it doesn't matter what anyone else does, because I know what I'm capable of, right? And so, do you remember this guy who used to play for the Nuggets named Will Barton?
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Okay. He was playing against the Lakers, had this game, crazy game, 24 points in the first half. He goes to the locker room and in his mind, oh, I'm scoring 50 tonight, right? I don't think he ever broke over uh 36 or something like that in his career. Everyone on the Lakers is pissed off. And Kobe tells everybody in the locker room, he says, shut the fuck up. I got him. And everybody says, okay. And he said, because if Kobe said it, it was happening. Will Barton said, Never in my entire basketball career had I ever gone against a full court press. He said, That second half, I got the ball, Kobe's in my face. And he said, the entire time, he's like, and normally people get tired. Kobe said, No, I'm on you. He said, I've got you. You know how many points he ended up with that game? Granted, he had 24 in the first half.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_0326.
SPEAKER_00Oh, Jesus. I feel like I've heard this story too.
SPEAKER_03And Kobe Bryant ended up winning that game. They were down like 17.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And so he knows that he's put in the work. He knows if he said he was gonna do it, he was going to do that. But do you know how much shit you have to go through to know and to turn people and tell people that you care about, tell people that you love, to say, shut the fuck up, I've got this, and to have the confidence in yourself to weed out, cut out the noise against impossible odds. I bet bet all the bet makers and all that stuff were like, Oh yeah, Nuggets got this. We're gonna give the fucking Lakers 34 at this point. But to come back and say, Shut the fuck up, I've got this.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Takes a lot of confidence and a lot of discipline too, man. Like I feel like there isn't I mean I have discipline in my life my life, but not like that. You know, and that's yeah, dude, that's crazy.
SPEAKER_03So I guess what I was getting to and alluding to is that whatever you're going through right now, a lot of it is just portrayal, uh, a lot of it is putting out there so people who are hating on you because they don't know you. It's because they basically they're finding pieces that they resonate with that they hate about themselves, right? A lot of times it's that reflection piece. But also at the same time, it's funny because people who talk trash about you and say all these things, they'll come up to your face and they'll give you hugs. They'll basically praise you and be like, How's your family, man? Oh, yeah, I've been seeing all the things that you're doing, and they'll love you like you're best friends, dude.
SPEAKER_00Fake.
SPEAKER_03It's crazy, man.
SPEAKER_00It's crazy. Yeah, dude, that shit drives me nuts, man. I don't like I don't like fake ass people. Especially if I know you've been talking shit. Like, I really like I don't have anything to say to you. Yeah, like I'm just not like I'm not gonna hate on you, I'm not gonna talk shit, I'm not gonna run your name through the mud. But if I know you've been talking shit and then you try and come say hi to me, I ain't gonna say shit. I'm not saying shit to you. Yeah. Because I don't have anything to say to you, right? You know, and it's something something that I've been trying to do is write down ten things that I want in the morning, and I try to send three people love that bother me. I'll still send you my love and I'll still have love for you, but again, man, like I just from a distance, you know. Yeah, bro. I don't need you at my table. Right. I don't. Yeah. And um as far as like the the haters are necessary piece, it is uh for me because it helps me understand that I'm doing something right.
SPEAKER_03Yes. And you know what's really funny? I told my team this for years. I said, if you make me your enemy, and again, it's it's you choosing to do so, not me, it'll be your biggest regret because I'm not going anywhere. I will be here. You're gonna have to hear my name no matter what, because I know what I want to accomplish, and I'm not going to stop. And the sad part for you is that you will have to hear it regardless if you want to or not.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, dude. I had that hits the nail on the head. I had so I took my wife had surgery. I took because I work at McKenzie's um a couple nights a week or one night a week, Friday nights, and this guy, man, all I took one of my shifts. He he covered one of my shifts or whatever while I was out. Started talking shit to the whole team, and I'm getting messages from everybody saying, hey, this guy, I'm not gonna say his name, but this guy was saying this and how he doesn't understand how you have the best shift and you work once a week, and you know, he's gonna try and get you fired so he can steal your shill your steal your shit or whatever. And I was out for three weeks, and I'm like, dude, this fucking guy, man, is like you're not only like I had, I'm sure you do the same thing. I had this script in my head that was gonna pull him aside and be like, hey man, like fuck you, you're a piece of shit. Like, you're not just taking my shift, you're taking volleyball away from my kids and dance and food off my table and yada yada, and I got to the point where as I had a whole nother week off after I heard all this shit, right? And I know he'd been talking shit for a while. It wasn't just this one time. And even on the way there, on the way, like my first day back, I was like, I fucking I hope he's here so I can, you know, and just something like when I walked in that building, something and I saw him, something went over me and was just like you're not gonna go anywhere, you're still gonna have the same shift. No one's taking anything from you. You have the best shift, and you work once a week because you've worked hard to become one of the best bartenders in Colorado Springs, and I say that proudly. Yeah, and just the I walked in, he's like, Hey bud, how's it going, man? How was your three weeks off, dude? Um everything took out of me. I was like, dude, how what the fuck you, bro? Like, are you really and there's and me, dude? I just I got behind the bar and started doing my thing, and all my regulars were glad I was back and saw everybody I you know, and I just was like, okay, like this, like this is me. This is like being behind a bar is like my quarter mile, right? Like that's where I feel the most free. Yeah, all my problems go away. All I have to do is focus on serving booze and serving drinks, and I'm fucking damn good at it. Yeah, and but just going back to what you said, man, about the fake people or you know, wanting to smile on my face and hug me and dat me up and say, Hey man, welcome back, yada yada, even though I know you was talking shit. But to me, dude, I'm just like, it takes so much more energy out of me than to make myself hate you than it is just to throw you some love every once in a while. Sure. So um, I don't know where we were talking about, but that's just you know, as far as like caring about what people think, like I think a part of us always will, but like the subconscious part that we make conscious needs to be like, oh, like I don't I kind of like what am I trying to say here? Like um you gotta catch the moment before it happens, right? So like trying to not be a people pleaser, I think, as business owners is really hard, but they also have to draw that line of I'm still a human being and you're not and you're not treating me correctly, and I'm gonna have to kind of step away.
SPEAKER_03Well, and and I do want to highlight this too, because there are a lot of guys that would not put up with that. There are a lot of guys where they see red and that's it, right? So you saying we need to catch that moment before it happens, right? That's huge wisdom right there. Totally. Because especially, you know, no one gives a fuck, work harder, right? Like, you think that dude could be able to turn around and have that restraint? You know what I mean? Like, you know, so everybody, like, everybody thinks like this alpha male, right, is a guy who's basically like roided up, right? But really, you know, there's people we we have this stigma of, you know, that cars are dumb because we're meatheads. Because we go into situations like that and we don't think. We don't think about the consequences. Oh, well, I lost my job and you know, now I gotta pay uh X amount because I'm getting sued and I can't hold down a job because I'm a felon now, right? And then they turn around and be like, you know, oh, but life sucks for me because I made bad choices, but it wasn't really my fault. Right? And so uh again, I'm not s calling anyone out, but these are the things that we've talked to. These are the people that I've been around. These are people who turn around and they're like, Well, I'm trying to do better, and uh well, I put positivity out there, and and what I put into the world gets out there, and then they turn around and they're talking trash. They turn around and they're like, Oh, my life sucks because I cheated on my wife. Like, what what's happening to me, you know?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they're doing they're they're expecting a different result but doing the same shit every day.
SPEAKER_03But they use a mantra, right? Something that you know makes them feel good because if I put positivity in there, I should get positivity into the, you know. And um it's it's crazy when you when you listen to people, right? And actually, Aaron had taught me this a couple years ago. He said, A lot of people are kind of like NPCs in a video game. They only repeat the things that are on their mind, they only say the same thing over and over until they feel like they're heard or understood, or until they complete like the quest kind of type situation. And ever since he told me that, I like notice that people will literally repeat themselves over and over and over again, trying to get their point across, trying to do that, and until maybe sometimes you recognize it, until you sit there and be like, Hey, I heard you, that's crazy. Then they move forward.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure. It's weird. It's like they're their whole objective was to make sure that you heard exactly what they were saying, yes, but then repeating it, but like this is why I just like I would rather not. I just don't argue. Like, what the fuck is the point to argue with you? You're not gonna change your mind. I am very I feel like I'm an open-minded person, but it took me a long time to get here. It wasn't like I was always like, No, man, I'm like, if you whatever you want to tell me, I'll take it in and you know, whatever. But there was a time in my life where I was like, no, man, like this is I I'm right about this, and you're not changing my mind about it. And but going back to what we've talked about, you know, in fewer episodes, it's like it's not most people aren't aware of what is going on inside their brain and inside their bodies, they're just out reacting because they feel like whatever purpose they've created in their head is needs like it's like an itch for them, right? Like it needs to they need everybody to hear them loud and clear, so they're the loudest person in the room, or they talk the most shit, or they talk behind people's backs, and they say hello to their faces, or you know, it's just like yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Well it's just it's an interesting, right? Because we all come from different walks, and like you said, you know, I think you and I are similar in the fact that we we seek more peace and war, right? Um and I think that somebody that has wisdom, somebody that can stay cool, calm, and collected even during you know, in in the face of adversity, in in the face of stress, right? And again, I'm every bit of human as everyone else. Do I have my moments where I'm blown up? Of course. Do I have those moments where I'm more stressed sitting there trying to kind of come up with a conversation to talk to my wife? Yes. But there are certain days when it's like when when shit really hits the fan, I'm not reacting, you know, I'm not feeding, you know, all of that. Um, just like you, you were talking about earlier, how maybe your wife is kind of like the mama figure and hears all the stories, like, man, in the salon, my wife is the therapist, she's the sister, she's the daughter, she's everything, right? And she's like, You want to hear some tea? And I'm like, I'm good.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you know, I get that for her.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think you know, spiritual maturity and wisdom, man, is just not allowing any external sources disrupt the peace that's internalized. Yes, right. And just like you said, man, we're just all as a bit of human, but there are people out in the world that never get angry. And it probably took them a long fucking time to understand the concept of like that, you know, Buddhism, Hinduism, you know, those guys are really good at like dialing into themselves and just understanding that the purpose of living is just to live and experience and love and grow.
SPEAKER_03So I I I do question a little bit about that too, because growing up, we've here in the US, we've always been taught to suppress a lot of those feelings, and then they oftentimes come out in other areas. Yeah. So, you know, um you have to wonder if maybe some of those things like at what point do you find balance if you don't experience all of those things, right? Because if we're made in God's image, were we not made and have these emotions similar to Him? And so how can you be all peaceful when we've seen God be a jealous God and an angry God, right? So to me it makes sense. Yeah, I'm gonna blow up sometimes, you know, but it's as long as I don't do stupid stuff with it, right? It's it may be expected even. Sure. But how can somebody live a life where they don't experience that at all? And then I wonder, is there an imbalance now?
SPEAKER_00I don't think it's necessarily that they don't experience it. I think it's because even Jesus got mad. Right. You know what I mean? It's not and it got upset and flipped tables and you know, whatever, you know, and it's like I don't think it's necessarily that they don't experience it, they just don't let it disrupt what's already happening inside of them, right? Because they took so long for them to learn and obtain this peaceful of their of oneness between their human vessel, their soul, and whatever spiritual god that they're worshiping, right? Or they believe in or whatever. And I think that it's not the fact that I'm sure they experience it a hundred percent.
SPEAKER_03But they probably just found different ways to channel it.
SPEAKER_00It's just more of a discipline area, right? To understand, like, okay, like this is happening in my external world right now, and it's pissing me off, but how do I bring it back to peace? It's like meditation. A lot of people to uh from my understanding and people I've talked to miss, oh, I can't meditate, I can't just not think of anything. Well, that's not the point. The point is to bring it back to the breath or bring it back to nothing. Your mind's gonna wander, sure, and think about all the problems and the bullshit and whatever, and the kids and the house and the bills and the job and the business and whatever. But the point is to bring it back, right? And as far as the balancing part, I think it's more of like without anger, there's no love. Without black, there's no white, without heaven, there's no hell. You know what I mean? Like, that's why I think there is, and you know, my beliefs are probably a little bit different than yours as far as like heaven and hell goes, but I think we need the opposite to get, you know what I mean? Like, we need the love and the anger to understand what love feels like, and this is the side that we want to be on, you know, this is the heaven part and this is the hell part, and I feel like we spend a lot of our time trying to figure out how to, you know, teeter-totter that be because there are moments in our life where we do get pissed off and we do get angry and we do see red and we want to blow up, but how do we bring it back to this side? Right, right, right. So, uh, but yeah, that that's that's kind of my I don't think like like I don't think they don't not experience it, and I understand where you're coming from, but I think that's more of probably a stigma. Yeah, for sure. And I but also I think it is like they're just trying to channel something differently instead of reacting and making a fool of themselves. Yeah, you know, yeah. So but oh by the way, I know we're probably running out of time here, but I tried the say yes to my kid.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_00It went okay. There were some times where I was like, oh, I don't want to fucking say yes to this shit. And I did it and it like I didn't do it all the time, I made it like more like realistic for myself. Sure. But a lot of times, like for instance, when I'm stretching, like I don't want stretching and doing my meditation. I don't want my kid to bother me. She should be in bed doing whatever, you know what I mean? So I can go do my thing. Well, she started getting a habit and being like, hey dad, can you play this game with me for a little while? And I was like, No, I'm doing this. No, I'm doing this, no, I'm doing this, no, I'm doing this. And just the fact that I said yes a few times, and I didn't say yes every night, but I did say yes a lot more than I usually do. And it just made me feel good because it made her feel good. Right? And just like stuff like, hey, can we go to the park? When I would usually say, like, hey, no, it's about to rain. It was like, yeah, we can go until it starts raining. And it just kind of just totally, you know what I mean? It flipped kind of the uh like the vibe in the house a little bit, you know.
SPEAKER_03Because they have more confidence, yeah, for sure. And it's like, you know, you ever seen that video of that girl and she went viral? She's like dancing and she's because she's really excited about to eat and all that stuff. Oh, yeah, and you got the girl behind her who's looking at her like she's crazy. Yeah, but like I've noticed that one no is very devastating, right? Especially like in the right moment. But there are certain times when the right yes completely changes it, and like you know, I've watched my son literally go and hum throughout the entire house singing all that stuff, and and again, a lot of times it's like if I turn around and say, Hey, I'm I'm working right now, uh, we'll do it later, you know, and so it's like a no for now, right? But if I just flat out say no, it's like oh okay, and then he's like deflated. But if I say yes, or or give me till five o'clock and I'll I'll get off work, right? And he comes in at like 459, 458, right? And he's like, and I'm like, give me five more minutes, right? But when the minute that you say yes, it's like man, they start running through the house, they start like dancing, you know, they're doing like I don't know, humming the weirdest songs like I've never heard before, but they're just in their element, and the whole, like you said, the whole vibe changes, the whole house changes. Um something else that I also noticed too is that my wife will not say, come talk to me if I'm playing with my son.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, hell yeah. She lets you have that time. That is hilarious. That's so funny.
SPEAKER_03Hey, can you what are you doing? I'm playing with our son.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay. Yeah, too funny.
SPEAKER_00Got it. My uh my three-year-old is she doesn't she doesn't talk a whole lot, so she's in speech therapy. And it's just just a quick funny joke, and we'll wrap up here, but uh, or a quick funny story. Um and she wasn't being the nicest to the therapist, they were doing like a virtual thing or whatever to try and teach her new words or whatever. And um she wasn't being nice, being so my wife tells the therapist, yeah, she's being a nasty girl. Like, you know, she's not being very nice. And my five-year-old, four-year-old goes around the house singing, I've been a nasty girl, I've been I've been a nasty girl. And the uh the therapist just started cracking up and I was like, Oh my god, who am I? What are we what's happening here? It just reminded me of Maddox singing, going I'm sure it doesn't. Yeah, it happens everybody else's house too. The singing and stuff, yes. Um anyway, I think uh I think we should wrap up. Aaron, you got anything uh I know you're tired over there. Mr. Mr. and Mr. Three Hours a night of sleep. Right.